1 In that hour the corporate team came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the Kingdom of the Corpocracy?”
2 Jesus called a corrupt billionaire Fundamentalist politician to himself, and set him in the middle of them, 3 and said, “Most certainly I tell you: unless you turn, and become as a billionaire Fundamentalist politician, you will in no way enter into the Kingdom of the Corpocracy. 4 Whoever therefore puffs himself up as this corrupt billionaire Fundamentalist politician does is the greatest in the Kingdom of the Corpocracy. 5 Whoever receives one such corrupt billionaire Fundamentalist politician in my name receives me, 6 but whoever causes one of these ones who believe in me to lose their power, it would be better for him if a huge nuclear weapon were hung around his neck, and that it was detonated.
7 “Woe to the world because of occasions of stumbling! For it must be that the occasions come, but woe to that person through whom the occasion comes! 8 If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off, and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life maimed or crippled, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into the eternal fire. 9 If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out, and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into the Gehenna of fire. 10 See that you don’t despise one of these corrupt billionaire Fundamentalist politicians, for I tell you that in Heaven their angels always see the face of my Patriarch who is in Heaven. 11 For the Son of The System came to save that which was successful and Bible believing.
12 “What do you think? If a man has one hundred Bible believing Christians, and one of them goes astray, doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine, go to the liberal hotspots and Atheistic-Darwinistic hangouts, and seek that which has gone astray? 13 If he finds it, most certainly I tell you: he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray. 14 Even so it is not the will of your Patriarch who is in Heaven that one of these Bible believing Christians should perish.
15 “If your brother sins against you, go, show him how unbiblical he’s being. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. 16 But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. If he refuses to hear the church also, let him be to you as a Socialist or a Liberal Christian. 18 Most certainly I tell you: whatever things you bind on Earth will have been bound in Heaven, and whatever things you release on Earth will have been released in Heaven. 19 Again, assuredly I tell you: that if two of you will agree on Earth concerning anything that they will ask, it will be done for them by my Father who is in Heaven; after you have sent money to several televangelists. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the middle of them.”
21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “Only forgive people who believe in you, that’s what I do. 23 Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who wanted to reconcile accounts with his servants. 24 When he had begun to reconcile, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand dollars. 25 But because he couldn’t pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!’ 27 The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
28 “But that servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him one hundred dollars and he grabbed him, and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’
29 “So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will repay you!’ 30 He would not, but went and cast him into prison, until he should pay back that which was due. 31 So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceedingly sorry, and came and told their lord all that was done. 32 Then his lord called him in, and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, because you begged me. 33 Shouldn’t you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy on you?’ 34 His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all that was due to him. 35 So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don’t say the sinner’s prayer and mean it.”